So this is it, my maternity leave is over. After 4 amazing months spent with my boy, tomorrow I’m going back to the office.

I never was the maternal type. I didn’t even wanted children for most of my life. I didn’t think I would be a great mother, and didn’t want to ruin my life with a child. But than I grew older, met the perfect man and things changed.

Even while pregnant, I always doubted my ability to be a good mother. But as soon as I went into labor, something changed inside me. I was calm and relaxed. I was nice to the people around me (I was never nice in stressful situations before). The spoiled little bitch inside me disappeared and a mother was born. 

I still can’t believe motherhood will be so easy to me. Like I was preparing for this all my life. The first time I held Saar in my arms, I knew everything will be ok. 

I stopped caring for the stupid little things. I didn’t mind staying at the hospital (there’s nothing I hate more than hospitals and doctors). I didn’t mind eating hospital food, and forgot that I was dreaming about sushi and bloody steaks for 9 months. I didn’t mind waking up every 2 hours and run to the nursery. And every time I held my boy I felt the biggest love and joy possible.

4 months of pure love and happiness are behind us, and so much more is yet to come. It wasn’t always easy, but even in the most challenging moments I felt nothing but gratitude. I regret nothing, and know I done and still doing my best. 

Today is the last day, and tomorrow I’ll wake up, feed Saar, get ready and go to work. It will be hard. I’m going to cry all the way to the office. But I refuse to feel guilty. I know I’m doing the right thing for our family. I’m going back to a job I love, and Saar is staying in the loving hands of his family. 

My baby made me a better, happier person and I’ll do everything to give him the best happiest life, by making every moment count. 

Let’s start a new chapter. Let’s do it.